According to the birthday calendar:
As of 1/26/2007 10:37:51 AM EST
I am 30 years old.
I don't feel it, though.
I am 366 months old.
So, next time someone asks me my age, I'll be like those annoying parents who give their children's ages in months.
I am 11,158 days old.
My first thought was, "How many of those did I waste?"
I am 267,802 hours old.
At least 7,802 of them spent on the internet.
On my next birthday, in 164 days, my cake will have 31 candles on it. Apparently, with that many candles, I will be able to boil 3.54 US ounces of water. Yay! I can make half a cup of tea with my candles. That makes me feel great!
My birthstone is Ruby, but in Tibet it is Carnelian. I happen to be wearing a big Carnelian necklace right now! Hmmm...
And last, but not least, the moon was waxing gibbous on the night I was born. Except for the hump-back part, I can kind of relate the qualities of a waxing gibbous moon to myself...
26 January 2007
19 January 2007
It Could Happen to You!
Obviously, no funny shit has happened to me in quite some time, so I have to make things up for your viewing pleasure. I found this "advertisement" and I couldn't stop laughing.
I need a good laugh these days — I'm so stressed out with the Biz that I'm actually having trouble staying asleep at night. I'm considering requesting Lunesta or Ambien at my doctor appointment at the end of the month...or maybe I'll try Tylenol PM first. Mr. Pleasant Mornings suggested good old booze! Either way, I must stop the insanity.
Tomorrow, I have another Biz-related party (on a Saturday, blech) at a client's house. This guy gives me the complete creeps sometimes. He is a regular client, with a monthly assignment–which is great–but I end up feeling like an indentured servant. Then, when he contracts me to do a job outside of the normal scope of work, he argues about the bill. I have no control over him, and it drives me crazy! I can't wait until I can cut him loose. Lucky for me, Mr. PM is accompanying me to the party, so I won't have to deal with Creepy Client alone. I guess if he gets too close, I could always tell him I have centipedes in my vagina...
I need a good laugh these days — I'm so stressed out with the Biz that I'm actually having trouble staying asleep at night. I'm considering requesting Lunesta or Ambien at my doctor appointment at the end of the month...or maybe I'll try Tylenol PM first. Mr. Pleasant Mornings suggested good old booze! Either way, I must stop the insanity.
Tomorrow, I have another Biz-related party (on a Saturday, blech) at a client's house. This guy gives me the complete creeps sometimes. He is a regular client, with a monthly assignment–which is great–but I end up feeling like an indentured servant. Then, when he contracts me to do a job outside of the normal scope of work, he argues about the bill. I have no control over him, and it drives me crazy! I can't wait until I can cut him loose. Lucky for me, Mr. PM is accompanying me to the party, so I won't have to deal with Creepy Client alone. I guess if he gets too close, I could always tell him I have centipedes in my vagina...
12 January 2007
It's Friday and I Just Want to Go Home
But, no. I have to run more errands for the Biz, then attend a Biz-related social event preceded by drinks with some of my girls. I anticipate that the pre-event drinks will be the best part of the evening. Other than, of course, falling into bed. I hope I don't get home too late.
Jeez, I'm a party pooper.
Jeez, I'm a party pooper.
10 January 2007
Things I Don't Want to See #1
While watching TV the other night, I saw a commercial for an upcoming "Hogan Knows Best" episode. Apparently some Hulk Hogan super-fan pays the Hogans a visit and gets to work out with Hulk. Somewhere along the line, the poor guy isn't feeling well and is shown tossing his cookies. The viewer is given a full-frontal view of the spew. (I promise you, I got this all from the teaser to the show—not the actual show).
This brings me to Things I Don't Want to See #1: people puking.
I don't know when this became an acceptable subject for television (Jackass, perhaps?), but I find it really offensive. It doesn't make me nauseous myself, I just put in on par with watching someone else go to the bathroom.
Maybe I was traumatized when, while using the in-classroom restroom in kindergarten, a boy came breaking through the door blowing chunks with the entire class in tow. (Yes, my pants were pulled up.) I was trapped inside with a front row seat to his show, while another boy laughed his ass off and jumped up and down in the middle of the crowd.
Therefore,I am keeping my fingers crossed that SOMEONE in tv-land will get a clue that viewers do not need graphic proof that someone is barfing, and leave things up to our imaginations.
This brings me to Things I Don't Want to See #1: people puking.
I don't know when this became an acceptable subject for television (Jackass, perhaps?), but I find it really offensive. It doesn't make me nauseous myself, I just put in on par with watching someone else go to the bathroom.
Maybe I was traumatized when, while using the in-classroom restroom in kindergarten, a boy came breaking through the door blowing chunks with the entire class in tow. (Yes, my pants were pulled up.) I was trapped inside with a front row seat to his show, while another boy laughed his ass off and jumped up and down in the middle of the crowd.
Therefore,I am keeping my fingers crossed that SOMEONE in tv-land will get a clue that viewers do not need graphic proof that someone is barfing, and leave things up to our imaginations.
03 January 2007
Apparently, I am a Hippie
Ms. Write Again Soon is the source for this oh-so-fun personality test. Not sure I agree with the description, but the percentages are pretty accurate...
Hippie
You are 42% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.
You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, humility, and a faint scent of marijuana, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and free love! Immediately following that, you then frolic to the hospital with herpes! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You probably enjoy poetry, especially beatnik ultra-liberal crap about how horrible fascism is, even though your suburbanized, sheltered idea of "fascism" is having to pay two dollars per gallon at the gas pump. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you also love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Though I highly doubt they love to interact with you! Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. Now go do your drugs and have sex with filthy bearded men in tye dye shirts.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.
Take the Personality Defect Test
Hippie
You are 42% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.
You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, humility, and a faint scent of marijuana, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and free love! Immediately following that, you then frolic to the hospital with herpes! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You probably enjoy poetry, especially beatnik ultra-liberal crap about how horrible fascism is, even though your suburbanized, sheltered idea of "fascism" is having to pay two dollars per gallon at the gas pump. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you also love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Though I highly doubt they love to interact with you! Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. Now go do your drugs and have sex with filthy bearded men in tye dye shirts.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.
Take the Personality Defect Test
02 January 2007
Holiday Recap
Okay, so my last post should have been titled "The Calm Before the Storm," rather than simply "Calm."
Christmas Eve
Food to feed 20 of your beloved in-laws for dinner: $120.00
Having to call a plumber on Christmas eve to snake the peels of 6 pounds of potatoes you thought you could put down your garbage disposal: Priceless
Enough said.
Christmas Day
What was supposed to be my quiet holiday at home was of course, plagued with running house to house all day in the pouring rain, with presents and our dog in tow. Everyone lives so close together that it wasn't too much of an inconvenience, though. Much food was eaten by all (including the dog).
* The bonus of the day was when my aunt-in-law left a message on my machine telling me her oven literally blew up while the holiday turkey was roasting. I didn't feel so bad about the potato peels then.
Puke + Snot = Stay Away From Me
Little did we know when we made our last stop on Christmas day that we were walking into a petri dish. Mr. PM (my other half) caught that stomach flu from one of his cousin's children. By Wednesday I was waking up to his retching sounds coming from the bathroom. By Thursday he was complaining of a sore throat, and now is walking around hacking and groaning. Needless to say, Mr. PM hasn't received any contact from me for almost a week. I will barely sit next to him. Staying healthy is hard work, but thanks to preventative medicine and lots of sleep, I haven't caught the plague.
Work Is Never Done
Despite my attempts to take a full week off of work, I had more meetings during the break than I've ever had during a normal work week. However, this helped to keep me from worrying about putting food on the table during the first quarter of 2007.
Lessons Learned
1. Don't put ANYTHING in your garbage disposal. Ever.
2. A holiday, no matter where you are, will always be somewhat hectic.
3. Don't let children breathe on you.
4. Take the meeting on your day off—you can always go back home and lay on the couch when it's over.
Christmas Eve
Food to feed 20 of your beloved in-laws for dinner: $120.00
Having to call a plumber on Christmas eve to snake the peels of 6 pounds of potatoes you thought you could put down your garbage disposal: Priceless
Enough said.
Christmas Day
What was supposed to be my quiet holiday at home was of course, plagued with running house to house all day in the pouring rain, with presents and our dog in tow. Everyone lives so close together that it wasn't too much of an inconvenience, though. Much food was eaten by all (including the dog).
* The bonus of the day was when my aunt-in-law left a message on my machine telling me her oven literally blew up while the holiday turkey was roasting. I didn't feel so bad about the potato peels then.
Puke + Snot = Stay Away From Me
Little did we know when we made our last stop on Christmas day that we were walking into a petri dish. Mr. PM (my other half) caught that stomach flu from one of his cousin's children. By Wednesday I was waking up to his retching sounds coming from the bathroom. By Thursday he was complaining of a sore throat, and now is walking around hacking and groaning. Needless to say, Mr. PM hasn't received any contact from me for almost a week. I will barely sit next to him. Staying healthy is hard work, but thanks to preventative medicine and lots of sleep, I haven't caught the plague.
Work Is Never Done
Despite my attempts to take a full week off of work, I had more meetings during the break than I've ever had during a normal work week. However, this helped to keep me from worrying about putting food on the table during the first quarter of 2007.
Lessons Learned
1. Don't put ANYTHING in your garbage disposal. Ever.
2. A holiday, no matter where you are, will always be somewhat hectic.
3. Don't let children breathe on you.
4. Take the meeting on your day off—you can always go back home and lay on the couch when it's over.
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